Yo, we already know sheep are on the terror watch list. Why? We refuse to cow tow to big brother. We think he has gotten too big for his britches and needs a firm lesson in how to treat sheep and the public. Do we really need big brother in our hospital rooms? It is bad enough humans have to wear those god awful hospital gowns not meant for anything other than the airport whoopee sessions. Though with the new security guards in place, it might make searching for those suppositories a bit easier. We digress. When one is exposed, sick, the last thing we want to worry about is yet another person looking up our behinds.
We can see it now… two security guys named Roger and Hobbs, checking getting up close and personal with a male in a hospital bed. “Yeah Howard, I have something that looks a bit dangerous, need to go in for a closer look. Nope, it’s just a mole. Though the right cheek is showing a bit more fur, needs a wax job. What the hell is up with that thing poking out?” Roger responding: ” That is the catheter, or is it?” I mean come on, do we really have to have guys like that looking up our behinds when we are in the throes of pain? We don’t think so.
Bertha you went to a hospital recently, and you had the roommate from hell. She was gassy and loud, and kept showing a bit too much cheek for your taste? She snored and was discussing loudly the use of suppositories while you and your docs tried to discuss treatment plans? That is just wrong. Big brother had to have a laugh out of that one. Hey, they get what they deserve. So Bertha, what did you do? You were bending over giving a wax job to your toucas? OK, and did you let them see you? She is answering yes. You were in that gown and hunkered over, and waving to their cameras? You are bad Girl. She is winking at me.
Big brother, what is it that you need to know? Seriously, people are not that interesting as a species. How much can you learn from their desire to use bleach? We have a theory, those who make it might be trying to dummy down certain groups even more to get them to cow tow to you. How else do you explain so many really dumb women who cannot screw in a light bulb? We know they can do the first part, but its anything that requires them to think that worries us. Then there is the little boys who keep getting it caught there. Mom, ya really need to let junior explore. Hamsters are not bad things. If they escape out of the hutch once in a while, and junior decides to play with it? It won’t hurt him. Again, we digress.
But someone needs to seriously get these guys to loosen up. Bertha thinks they need a good romp with carrots, or a squash. Then again, judging by the look on some of their faces, we think either they got something caught, or it could be a case of don’t ask, don’t tell. Puppy thinks they sit up all night long staring at computer screens watching us, getting bored and occasionally finding something interesting to stare at. We get it, ya like boobs. If you have seen one pair, you have seen them all. Bertha said they have not seen hers. You can tell the fake ones from the real ones. Real ones you can twirl on a fork, tie them in a bow. Fake ones are more like glass globes that just won’t move. Boobs have to have that zaza zoo. Puppy is willing to bring produce and prosecco for later. What? Too much?
We find the need to control the public a bit constipating. There is medicine for that you know? Civil rights and liberties for all, best enema there is for that. It is bad enough you want to go into hospitals where people are already in misery. Must they also endure knowing you are watching them as they moan from pain? That is not nice.
Do you really want us all to be the same? Must we all behave like robots, and sport those uptight outfits like mao? Get real, sheep won’t go there. Nobody is going to tell us we cannot have omelet issues. They cannot take away our zaza zoo. Sheep are meant to be a little bit different, have that touch of prosecco in our step, question everything and demand answers. We are not meant to be obedient, that is way too boring for us. We know, it’s not how we behave. According to who? Let us make this clear, pay attention as we do not like to repeat ourselves…..
Bertha is not about to go back to the farm. Menage a trois with horny farmers are not her idea of a good time. She is more into wealthy, politicos who are a bit kinky and twisted. Hey, if Edwards got by with it, that should tell you something. At least politicos buy you dinner first, though some are so cheap, they won’t let you order the lobster. We know who you are.
Puppy refuses to give up his produce, he can’t. Don’t ask him to eat chocolate instead as it gives him the trots. You should know better. Nothing wrong with a little afternoon delight, and you get dinner and snacks after. If that is not money-saving what is?
Henrietta is not going to let go. She is going to demand answers and fight the good fight. If you dare go up against her, she will bite. And since when is snarfing a crime? Let the girl snarf if she needs to. it is not like she is blowing snot out of her nose. Snarfing is not a crime.
I for one, refuse to let big brother spy on me. I will give you an eyeful you won’t forget. Bertha has nothing on me. Those tats I got are none of your business. If I howl in the car to my favorite music, so be it. I am entitled. I can pee standing up and not show a lot of leg. Show me one male who can do that? Yes Vagina, I have cojones. I bite and I am not a nice person in the morning without my first cup of coffee. Yo, you’re talking to a very hard-core sheep here. Bertha just let out a veto. Puppy is giving the middle paw and Hen is showing teeth.
Humans you have a choice, follow us or get left behind. The choice is yours.