We know, 2016 is a long way off, but if you are planning a campaign, it is never too soon to think ahead. The dog, Bertha, Henrietta and I have been approached to consider a run for public office. While we would have loved to have participated in this election with Mitt and Barry, can you imagine that debate? Too much fun guys, they would never see us coming. Instead., we plan to do an all out assault in 2016. We figure it this way, by then, gay marriage will have become a non issue, civil rights will be for all, the war should have ended by then. As for healthcare and jobs? Hmmmmm. as the unions appear to have issues, no telling what could happen.
But we already have our list of what we know the public is in dire need. Bertha’s list starts with going after that damn politico who can’t keep it in his pants. Double jeopardy could be a problem, but it is not stopping her from doing a tell all. Who you may wonder are we referring to? Too many to choose from as they all have had some sort of sexual harassment charges lobbied against them. Hers is specific, and he knows who he is. Way to go Bertha, keep em all guessing and sweating. Though some of their wives may be pissed. If they did not have to do the deed before, they will for sure have to do it now. Revenge is sweet.
Our plan is to do a surprise attack sheep style. The idea of sheep running for anything should make everyone take notice. Karl, we are ready for you, and already have our ammo in place. Bring it on sister. We plan on coming after the tea party, and anyone else who dares question us. Do they really want the chapter on those who have produce issues to come up in a debate? Or the ones whom we know have been hiding tax money in the caymans? Anyone? Buehler?
We hope to bring back power to the people. There is power in numbers and if we all have a voice, and you have someone willing to listen, act so all benefit? That is the kind of candidate you want. That and someone who can tell off that little monkey. Bertha does not need to be told her hips are too big, or her ass is too fat. She does not need a nose job, and while a good wax never hurts, she does not need the full Sasquatch routine. Bertha, they want you bald and pregnant with no ability to wear a wig or get an epidural. She is showing the middle hoof. Trust us, you do not want to see her bald or pregnant. Bad combination.
We plan on having our pal run the unions. We know he won’t sell them out, will allow them to pack produce and take omelet breaks. Hey, a guy has to have lunch after a bit of afternoon delight. This takes care of both issues. For sure we will outlaw outsourcing of jobs over seas. After one of our own had a bad expirience with one of those little tightly wound china dolls, we knew it was time to cut that out of the budget. No more dim sum or any other packing issues.
Tax breaks for the wealthy? Don’t think so. No more cheating either. Bot ox is not deduct able under our plan. Lots of anger headed our way, but too many chose to use this to cheat. For the last time, you cannot deduct bot ox for cats. We know the kitty needs an upgrade now and then, and is more desirable if it is pulled tight. The problem arose when kitty became greedy wanting more. Have you seen that cat with the lip fillers? Or the ones who demanded neuterals becuase thier jawline was sagging? Ladies please…..
You assumed we were talking about cats. Cats as in felines, things that bite and scream in the litter box. No idea what that one is about, and frankly, it might be too much information. Sheep get it ladies, we know sometimes Rudder needs the extra help. But if we made that available for just you, we also have to make it available for everyone else too. That includes those who like those chew toys and dont forget the vibrator crowd. Fair is fair…. We digress….
The debate will be loud and wild and Bertha is already prepared to do the full monty if the others get out of hand. Nothing like a good flashing to make people go brain dead. Puppy said produce works too. Yes we will go where others refused to dare. Sheep are not shy about discussing the hard issues. 2016.
Be afraid, be very afraid, and do pack depends…..