Sheep normally can take a lot. God knows we dish it out. But when we read the public was tired of reading about the trashy lives of one family in particular, we had to step in. In fact, when we read they were tired of reading about Brittany, Lindsey, Paris, et al, we knew an intervention had to take place. Even the dog and Bertha have grown tired of the stale escapades of these people.
Bertha freely admits to having bought many rag magazines just to get her fix.We are all for bathroom literature, and admit, on occasion to having browsed a column or two. What can we say, they offer way too much material for us. But this has gone too far. Momma “K” has taken on a whole new persona. The song, ” Big Pimp in.” was taken a bit too literally. Just as “She’s a ho” was adopted by Kim, Lindsey, Paris, et all. Come on folks, show some decorum. Do we really need to know Bruce likes to show up the ladies at the bars? It’s OK Bruce, we approve of drag queens, and even had to do a bit of it ourselves to fit in. You wear it well. Though Bertha thinks you need to go a bit lighter on the lipstick, and heavier on the pancake. That five o’clock shadow needs to go, especially on the legs. We digress.
As for having to read about how one mother literally pimps her children out for profit? In some countries that is called being a madam and getting a jail sentence. In Hollywood, it is called mass marketing. Interesting how the rich by pass the law on that one. How many times must we read about sex tapes, lies, cheating, fake boobs, no boobs, fake behinds, no behinds, revolving doors for men? Yo, that is just one family member. I have not even begun to go after the others. Bruce, you don’t count, you are one of us, we get you. We have to read about the boyfriends who can’t keep it in their pants, or who keep it in their pants, but cannot stop using these women like an ATM. At least some of the spouses have real jobs. We applaud that. Gotta love Lamar and Khloe. You are too cool for school. ya keep it real, and we had to howl when you tried that swing in the bedroom. Bertha tried that too, but somehow her man was bitten and afterwards he walked with a limp. Too much information Bertha..
Sex tapes? Only if dad got caught chipping his secretary. DUI’s? For the last time ladies, it is not sexy to be fall down drunk and puking on the air. I don’t care how edited it gets, nothing nice about looking at a woman gone bad. Bertha will tell you nothing smells worse than a girl who mixes puke with Calvin Klein. Getting it out of the fur is another issue you forgot about. Puppy has been there, and no amount of produce can fix that. Note to boyfriend, are you paying attention? That goes for you too.
Then there is reading about daughters who set up faux marriages for the bucks. Gold diggers come to mind. Trashing the spouse before you are divorced is just tacky. Sheep hate crocodile tears. We have no time or patience for it. no amount of covers discussing your cellulite will change our minds. As for the producers of this crap, you know better. Honestly, if we have to keep reading this garbage it will make us have the runs.
Bertha is snarfing now. Too many magazines on this? Celebs need to go away. Of course we encourage those who over came thier bleach to keep up the good work. They are far and few between. The public is tired of your whiny, cranky, PMS behavior. You are not above the law, did not discover penicillin, or cures for AIDS. Being a celeb for doing nothing more than behaving vapid and boring is not a job. Throw blondie to the unions and they will put her to work. Throw mom to the CEO’s and she will have a new husband and mini series in a nanno second. We cannot have that.
There are some things congress has to make go away. Celebs like the kartrashians is one, the battle for the bleach blonde bimbos is another. That is one the dog will endorse, and while the bill is getting written will provide produce to those who want it. You get a nice crudite platter for later too. Reality tv as a whole is as bad as it sounds, and those who provide it, profit from it, encourage bad behaviors, should be jailed. As part of probation violation, if they are seen trying to pimp out anything other than thier cat, they get another 30 years. Hard time, no cameras.
We are going out on a limp here and giving Brittany kudos for coming back. Good Girl, but people like Lindsey, Paris, and others who just never kept thier pants on? Yo, the carpet has to match the drapes if you want to go public.