Is it us or have some of these terrorists gone too far? We saw on CNN at Christmas time, a male’s pants caught fire when he tried to ignite a butt bomb. We have to ask if they have omelet issues? We could see it if they were into produce, the dog is down with that. But choosing to use the one orifice for the purpose of harming others is just wrong. Already we heard a past president attacking All Gore for funding bovine gas studies. Bovine gas that apparently is so strong it is harming the OZONE.
Bertha is not comfortable with anything going where it does not belong. The last time she went to the vet, he wanted to do a proctology exam. It goes without saying Bertha gave a firm NO ! When the doc tried to examine her again, he got a sharp bite on his toucas. Sheep are not into anything that cause gas or pain.
Sometimes we have to wonder about puppy, but being a dog, who knows? We can tell you if a terrorists approached us with such a request, not only would they be refused. They would be placed on our sheep watch list for life. We know the dirty tricks they try to use to get others to do thier dirty work for them. The day they got a brother drunk, sent him packing, and he left without his 72 virgins? Can you say the man had to be a tad off?
Then we have to wonder what with the current TSA exams being used, what will they do for this? Bertha is not about to bend over and say “AAAH” for anyone. Not without dinner and drinks first, and even then, the answer is still “NO!”. Perhaps their idea was to see how many people would allow proctology exams, which in itself could be blinding. Can you imagine someone already beaten with the ugly stick, grotesquely obese, bending over for all to see? Neither can we. Oy, my eyes.
There is a limit to how far sheep will go to have their rights to privacy taken. Puppy is concerned as if he ends up in such a position, no pun intended, what will they find? He is whistling and trying to count on his paws what all has already been used. The idea he has to count worries us. Bertha, do you know what would be found? She is filing her nails and trying to be coy. She has a don’t ask, don’t tell policy.
So we pose this to the homeland security people, if they really are worried about terrorists who insist on bombs instead of beans to achieve the same result? What is the solution? Obviously, if you see someone who is walking with a limp and he cannot sit down, yes, by all means if it fits, you cannot acquit. On the other hand, if you see camel feet sticking out? Bertha says, gas ex is not going to do it. Puppy says health care does not cover camel retrieval. Bush cut that in his last budget cuts. Bad move George.
We ask again, how bad must things be over there that they are willing to ruin their behinds with explosives? Let the women out of their burk as and you can then pick and choose your virgins. You do not need to ruin your body for it. Bertha says the camels will be happier too, and not be looking over thier shoulder all the time. “This one is drunk, run like hell!” He took one too many hits on the snake.
Our next worry is what kind of material are they using? If they confuse preparation H for explosives, all they will get is a nasty burn, with a hint of prosecco. Much like when we got em caught in the clapper. Bertha uses preparation H on her skin, and swears it makes her look years younger. We can only assume they had years to practice, and between the camels and produce, it is a wonder anything stays in.
Oy, just when you thought it was safe to have a behind. Now we have to wonder what is going on behind our backs? We have to wonder what sickos might try this in a drunken stupor at an orgy. Puppy says it already happens, which is why hamsters are nervous. Which brings us to another question, with all of these pervs doing the unthinkable with produce and rodents, how will TSA know who is packing and who is not?
Puppy is winking.