Bertha is in a tizzy. The poor girl discovered Mitt Romney is running for office as POTUS. She is worried if he gets in she will be unable to obtain her much needed waxings, boob refills, wig replacements, tushy refills, and will have to rely on those cheep knock offs China makes. Sheep and waxing kits do not mix. Aside from the extreme issues with pain, which we are use to, there is the unsavory side. The last time she used wax strips at home, she ended up stripping away all of her eye brows, upper lip, and have this strange goat tee going on. When she tried to wax her tushy, strips got caught in her neither regions and she ripped off one of her neuterals. Sheep and wax kits are not meant to go together at all.
As for her trying to get her boobs inflated, she tried the bike pump, but that was a disaster as well.The poor girl had to put the tube up her tushy, just to reach the boobs. This put her in an odd position, and she had no idea people could see in her boudoir. It made her look as if she was humping Limbaugh. The more she tried to work the pump, the worse it got. One boob was inflated too much causing her to fly around the room, as the other just would not fill. When the first boob exploded, the other made this strange exit. No telling what it was thinking. If we end up with no health care, we can’t get our teeth fixed either. As for the eyes, the only solution is to be neutered. Sure it will make your eyes crossed, but at some point they do straighten out. Bertha’s one eye never did uncross, making her look drunk all the time. Henrietta refused to have that done. She heard too many stories of neutering going wrong. Hun, we know, it could lead to a lot of issues, not the least is constipation. That might be what is wrong with Mitt, but then again, we think not. Though he does behave strangely. Puppy is reminding us he is Mormon. That explains a lot. Even Amish know how to party, get out once in a while, see the world. But we digress.
If Romney gets into office it will be a bad day for sheep. The guy is out of touch with us. He has never had to be around working sheep. He will never know the union issues we have, trying to deal with Chinese. To this day, they keep sending us Depends. We think they know something we don’t. The day we have to bow to Chinese, Bertha is prepared to moon them. Bertha, you had a romp with Moon? He was a cheapskate? he would not pay for your lobster, or drinks? You had to eat beans for dinner. Does he know what beans do to you? She is giving the middle paw. Bertha refuses to sport that uptight outfit they wear. It is too confining, and makes her legs wobble. Its the shoes. She also refuses to wear that strange hairdo they have. Not a good look on her.
If we lose our unions to Romney, he will have to work with sheep. Are they aware we demand hourly breaks and time to sun bathe? Does he remember the Ark Incident? The boss was not pleased with Bertha sunbathing in the nude. To this day his retinas burn. If we have to order parts from them, it will be a long day. Why? They have people there named GNO. When you call them, and have to ask for this person, you get “NO.” Now to us, that means he is not there, and we have the wrong number. This goes on all day and we keep trying to speak with GNO. They tell us “NO Speaking.” This drives us crazy. We are not sure if they want us to be quiet or what. That is thier order person, GWAT. You ask for “No”, and you get “What.”
Bertha got mad when she tried to order parts for her boss’s chair. She got on the phone with “What”, who said “No Speaking,” asking for the seat replacement. The little guy got on the phone, said “What”, tried to sell her sushi, when she explained it was for his tushy. We ended up with a case of sushi, and no chair part. Word to Romney, if you get in, we are going to let you deal with these guys. It is too exhausting for us.
Puppy would like to inform him he is not about to give up his produce. If they get ah old of us, he will lose his produce and omelet pan. Then what? Don’t tell me, “Who” will take care of it. You just cannot do the same things with raw fish and chopsticks as with a good melon. Though you can make a nice soup for later. Puppy is worried, very worried. Those damn vegans are just waiting to get a hold of his produce, that came out wrong, but you get the idea. It will be one big stir fry, the question is, are they master of thier domain? Bertha said she is master of her domain and no body is going to touch it. Um, Bertha, I don’t think that was what they had in mind. Again with the middle paw.
Romney, between the Chinese and the KKK we are not going to be happy sheep. We know you and Santorum like to hang out with Perry at those events. You encourage gun nuts to come after us, or anything remotely different. You obviously did not denounce Ted Nugent for his comments. Puppy thinks he is wound a bit too tight and is in need of a good romp with carrots.
Obamma, we can deal with him. He is street, we like street. You are not street. Sheep know who has our backs, and it is not Romney. “GNO” agrees.