The Top Ten Reasons Not to own a Gun:
10) Do you really want to have to explain how Grandma ended up with 4 holes instead of 2?
9) Do you really want to find out if your chances in jail are better than the rodent’s in a gay bath house?
8) How will you explain to your sex partner how “it” flew off?
7) Do you really want your mother to pistol whip your behind if she catches you with it?
6) People will assume you must be related to Bubba.
5) You might confuse that with a squash if you are drunk.
4) Blowing one’s privates off is not covered by insurance.
3) Dick Cheney owns a gun, likes bird hunting, need we say more?.
2) The dog is not prepared to make omelets if you screw up.
1) Bertha will not do men who have bigger egos than male parts.
Things you might see at an NRA convention……
A group of neo nazis huddling together giving the zieg heil to all who enter.
A Photo of Satan with his most recent “trophy” slung over his rifle.
A stuffed Charlton Heston Perched and poised to kick your ass if you try to take his gun away
Clint Eastwood asking did he fire one shot or two?
A portrait of Hillary and Elizabeth, shot guns in hand, and aimed at thier spouses.
A very Butch female cop approaching your car, with her saying….” Make my Day.”
Mitt Romney looking over his shoulder to be sure Satan is not following him.
Folks, these are things we hope sheep never have to see at any convention, much less one for the NRA. Bertha and puppy are prepared to come with produce, chastity belts, just in case a southerner gets aroused by Bertha or squash.