Sheep have been waiting a long time to do this, no, we are not trying to get neuterals, though some of us could use a new pair. I am talking about taking on the Gun Lobby. Oh they have been a pain in our side for some time. Do these people really know what they are fighting for? We sheep do not think so. No Gertrude, it is not about the right to bear arms. That is what is in the Constitution we know. But if we take a look back in history at what our founding fathers were really about, you might find the following, sheep style of course.
Imagine a group of oddly dressed males wearing bad wigs sitting around a shvitz, whining about the enemy. Gee, we can see this going on now in Washington, can’t we? One of the men looks to his right and finds puppy sitting back, with a large squash, cigar in hand, humming the sheep spangled banner. Puppy looks to the man in drag and asks why he wants to write in a bill that would allow people to carry guns? The man looks at him, takes a drag on the squash, and points to a very hot looking sheep. Puppy looks over and sees Bertha sunning herself in the nude. Puppy retorts, ” You are afraid of Bertha? Why?” The man looks her over, as she winks at him, and he spies her tattoo. He replies; ” I dunno mate, she looks kind of dangerous to me. She could be one of those rogue liberals we hear about. ” Bertha struts over, wig going askew, lashes melting off her face, fur looking as if it needs a good shampoo. She replies to the drag queen; ” Is that a squash in your pants or are you just glad to see me?” The man looks at her stunned.
Puppy looks at him again, then Bertha, and shakes his head. ” You just assume she has to be dangerous due to a tattoo?” The man chokes, catches his breath and replies. ” What if there were more of her kind?’ Bertha looks at them, winks and replies; ” They broke the mold when they made me.” Puppy muttered under his breath; “You can say that again.The other soldiers in drag assemble, and stare at Bertha. They huddle, and grunt, some are sweating like pigs, they stare at the dog, then at Bertha, and with pen in hand, sign the bill to allow others to carry a gun.
The question on our minds is this, was there reasoning based on assumption, supposition, as neither exactly fits the Lilly white image protestants want. OR were they afraid for their lives, were afraid of having the enemy attack and without guns to fight back, be allowed to defend themselves? Think about it folks, that was then, this is now. Flash forward and we have armies trained to use guns against the enemy, police who are trained to protect us, so why do we feel the need to carry something that is so harmful and destructive?
Puppy has one thoery. He thinks men have this need to be macho all the time, show off. He says if people did not have guns, they would be forced to get an education, figure out ways to intelligently outsmart their opponents. Yes there would be a lot of yelling back and forth, and we might even have mothers hitting people upside the head, and father’s whooping their kids behinds. But that might not be all bad. If instead of guns, we had the fear of our parents somehow catching us in the act, would we still do the dangerous and vile things people do to one another? Puppy says No.
Henrietta thinks it goes back to the cave man era. A mentality men would use fire and grunting to protect the missus, while swinging a large piece of wood around. Sounds like a bar in the south, which Bertha attended. Funny thing is the men looked the same, dressed the same, and spoke the same. If their property was about to be encroached upon, or their women taken by heathens, the big bad ass would get in their faces with a fist, or gun which ever comes first. Now, its guns they use.
I personally think it is a need for instant gratification. Puppy says that is what squash is for. Sure, you get a few shots off, someone either faints or wants more, a few beg for mercy. Either way, it stops them cold. And in some cases needing a good cigar. Men think you have to have a gun for that? Please. Bertha thinks they need to get out more.
Imagine if people lived without the fear, aggression, anger issues, greed, need for power, would anyone really need a gun to fight fair? If we looked at each other as equals, not to be feared, killed, or maimed, but as com rads in arms, without the violence of course. Bertha thinks it is sexier for men not to carry guns and let the police protect us. That is their job after all. Nothing is sexier than a man in uniform, right Bertha? The old girl is giving an approving wink.
Sheep are all for civil rights, we wrote the book on it. Guns are not something anyone has to have. If we all went into a restaurant with a gun, the Waiter failed to bring us out our order on time, can you imagine the outcome? Chefs would quit, restaurants would close, and nobody would eat. Ditto for the highways, as we know road rage is still a problem. Compound that with people, tired, angry at their bosses, wives, kids, girlfriends, cats, ex’s and have guns. Oy, it would look like the wild west on the freeways. All people need is the middle paw.
Folks, sheep think it is high time we revisit the constitution, remove this bill, save for the police and military who need them, build more prisons, which creates jobs. Write in, people have the right to carry produce and omelet pans as needed. Think about it, you get your jollys taken care of, aggression out, and have a nice crudite platter or chinese for later.