Sheep have noticed some baggers are showing signs of schizophrenia. We recognize the symptoms when some of our own have gone rogue. Bleach Nanny seems to be one who has gone to the dark side. Santorum, well, ya had to know it would happen eventually. Perry, you can put lipstick on a pig, but he is still a pig. What you may wonder are we referring to?
The dog caught Bleach in several lies. So much so, she was forced to respond to her constant ping-pong stand on various issues. Worse, after catching her in the act, and with produce, she denied having made those claims, though she did admit she like the butternut squash. Perry, we assume is getting advice from his handlers to pretend to be on the side of humans. Yes, if they are not Jewish, Hispanic or Ethnic. Henrietta uncovered disturbing intel that he has ties to neo nazi groups, and is a current member and backer of the KKK.
Bertha went to one of those rallys once. No, she is not a member, she just wanted to see what it would be like to wear that garish white robe. Boy were they in for a surprise. Not only was she not white, she was Bertha! When her top came off, this trans gendered, wig toting, implant complete, waxed leg, fake eye lashed, beauty was exposed. Wearing Channel and Jimmy Choo’s, she gave them a wink, lit up her cigar, and then dropped them. I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall. The dog went too, packing of course. He claimed Bertha left them staring. One said her nose was too big for Italians, though she could be Arabic. Another just kept staring at her huge knockers and waxed legs. Still another tried to approach her to see if her shoes were authentic. Bertha never wore knock offs. You do the math.
Then they approached the dog. He slowly backed away pulling produce out in case anyone got too close. No telling what they would do with a fast talking canine. It helped that he was a mix. This allowed him to confound them further. One spoke giving away his identity. ” Perry, is that you?’ the dog whispered? What gave him away was his constant whining about how the Jews killed Jesus. He wanted to go after anyone who ate a bagel.
The dog chose to use this data to bring back to us. Dragging Bertha away from that wrinkled, highly constipated group of Congressmen and women, they tossed an acorn squash and ran. We figure the schitzo behavior began when the baggers realized they have been outed, changing their positions on issues previously discussed.
But with Bleach Nanny, there is no excuse. Unless she has been on pain killers, we don’t think so. When Bertha is on pain killers, she divulges names and events of her wild escapades, with full detail. Sometimes with too much detail to print. The doctor needs a cigarette after. But we digress.
Santorum was another matter altogether. There is just no way to describe his mouth. Somehow mouth and brain do not connect. His behind speaks before the brain has time to decipher what he is trying to say. Anal glaucoma? We think so. Then there is Kantorum, that awful mixture of both Kantor and Santorum. Alone they are bad, together it is a bad case of the trots.
We have heard of humans who develop this illness and need meds and hospitalization. Tea baggers are another animal altogether. Unlike their genuinely mentally ill constituents, baggers have a need to try to speak from both sides of their mouths, and their behinds, while allowing their dark sides to emerge at the same time. Sometimes the results are hysterical, mostly however, they are just downright scary.
Bertha had this experience when someone slipped her some LSD at a party. We saw a side of her unlike any other, and we have seen it all with her. Or so we thought. Of course with Bertha there is full frontal, swinging tassels and a need to just let it all fly at once. No male is safe when she is in this mode. Her kamikaze attacks on men leave them breathless. When baggers get crazy, they just get mean.
Our solution to this problem is to have the media catch them in all modes, air them and let the public decide. Though there might be comparisons to the exorcist for some, the final key is to see which ones floats.
Humans only hope is to wait for candidates who do not wear sheets, sport swastikas, though the KKK did like the one Bertha had. Remember, hers was an accident. Her toucas twitched when the tattoo artist was trying to work. For her safety, she never let on. No telling if they would have had lamb chops for dinner with a wig.
You won’t find too many progressive candidates with this disease. When they speak, they have only one voice, do not listen to those in their heads, and can trust they do not have a case of anal glaucoma or kantorum.